Ahhh, the joys of a Baby Shower. Lame games, lots of small children, women talking about the pains of labor and diapers, lots of estrogen-filled bonding going on, good food though. (Ok, ok, I actually love baby showers:-)
In Japan baby showers are not given. Not because of the lameness factor but because it is considered bad luck to celebrate the baby before its birth. Usually, by the time a baby shower is had, women are past the danger mark, but the Japanese do not like to tempt the gods or Karma or whatever. I can see their point. But this means that these poor women don't get to have a baby shower!
As with most pre-schools, at Thor's school there are a number of children with siblings on the way. One of these lucky boys is Thor's good friend (in part because he is English speaking). His mama Keoko, is a Japanese women married to a Navy man and she is around her final trimester and they are soon transferring to Virginia. With our children at the same age and in the same class and the fact that we can hold a conversation together, the other American mom at the school (Mish) and I are friends with her:-) So Mish discovered that Keoko has never had a baby shower. The American side of the family was far away for the first child, and the Japanese side doesn't hold baby shower. Thus Mish decided that Keoko needed to have a baby shower. Under the premise of a 'goodby tea' she arranged a surprise shower inviting a dozen of the other mothers from the school.
Poor Mish and Poor ladies did not know what to expect...but it turned out to be a lot of fun. After dropping of the older siblings at school the moms walked down to mish's house. She is super crafty and decked her house out with all kinds of baby onsie notes and other cute stuff, so Keoko figured out pretty quickly that this was not just coffee and tea. Everyone entered and took off their shoes and then stood around for a little while not quite sure how to proceed. After some discussion with Mish, I did a little welcome speech while she finished things up. There was a bit of translation included, but I essentially said "Hello, welcome to the American style baby shower for Keoko and her soon to arrive baby. In America we celebrate showers to show support for the mother and to help provide some items that she may not have for a brand new baby. There is food and drink and some baby inspired games and gifts. Please help yourself to some tea (I think usually it is served?) and enjoy!) Fairly lame eh?
Mish was quite concerned about offending anyone. There are all kinds of things that seem fine to Americans but are quite offensive to Japanese and vise versa (btw don't blow your nose in public here). Just to be safe she went though games and ruled out ones like the diaper changing game and guess the candybar in the diaper game. Finally some ladies began getting a drink and we settled in for a rousing game of baby bingo, all the more amusing with the translations...baby rattle becomes some kind of onomatopoeia in Japanese and baby booties are not the norm. After everyone had gotten bingo and received a box of chocolate we moved on to a bit of brunch. (Very yummy) There was a guess at the number of hersheys in a jar (winner takes them home) and then the best fun of all...guess the baby food!
After eating so as to not upset stomachs beforehand. We skipped the blindfolds and did guessed by smell, sight and the occasional brave taste. Mostly everyone did poorly, especially on the squash. Turns out that other than pumpkins, they do not eat much squash in Japan. Fun was had by all. There was a impromptu game of guess the pregnant mama's circumference (initially skipped due to the offending people worry). The yarn lengths were then tied into knots and string games ensued. These ladies know incredibly complex string games by heart. Thanks to a book of Al's I know a couple, but I way way out of their league!
Next was especially odd for the Japanese, the gift opening. In Japan a person does not open a gift in front of the giver. You take it home and open it in private. Perhaps as to not offend people with a disagreeable face, though Japanese seem to hide distaste with incredible ease. Either way, it was something of a treat when it was decided to open gifts in front of everyone. Then there was chatting and laughing. Two of the native ladies spoke English well and a few others made wonderful attempts. No one was offended and everyone seemed to enjoy the treat of going to an American baby shower. They also enjoyed gathering together outside of the school pick-up area. Because the houses tend to be small here, entertaining is usually done outside the home. A party like this is almost unheard-of. Keoko was surprise, but I think enjoyed herself and was happy with the celebration. Her husband thrilled that she got to have a baby shower, a fully American celebration for his wife.
The most everyday way of life things in America are celebrated much differently here. It will be interesting to do Thor's birthday party this fall. 4th of July obviously will be on base; Halloween is not celebrated, so we will go to base for that too. I explained the difference between Memorial day and Veteran's day to our neighbor last week. Thanksgiving will be different and Christmas too...KFC managed to make fried chicken the 'official' Christmas holiday meal for those who celebrate:-) Then New Year's, which is actually one of the big deal Holidays over here. They have official holidays celebrating children and those becoming adults, Greenery Day (I have not figured that one out), the emperor's birthday and so on.
Different priorities, but still they have the time to celebrate with family and other times of remembrance just as we do.
